Imperfect stomach!
The muscles that keep me up, has a struggle,
Being a mum of two, requires me to juggle,
Between looking after them, working, cooking and cleaning
Staying up till two will surely catch up, meaning
Exercise to strengthen my core, is a complete muddle.
Vitiligo
The colour of my skin is the tale of this spin. Black or white, brown or yellow it doesn’t really matter until it becomes patchy. I like the colour of my skin, it is what it is but it isn’t anymore. It’s brown that’s all, nothing to shout about or go to town. But now, after so long of being brown, a bit of white came into sight. I’m not vain you know and I’m not in pain, so the colour of my skin shouldn’t cause a din. But my skin is changing, it’s not what it was. It’s aging, its wrinkling, the spores are open more. An odd age spot here and there, a mark that shouldn’t be there. A mark I try to hide with my hair. There’s only one for now. There maybe more later, that can’t be covered with hair. Or maybe even this one will go.
A poem about my daughters.
Jaia Ramji
Just when we were losing hope
An unexpected gift arrived, tied with a pink bow
Invisible to most
A miracle to us
Rosy cheeks
A boxers’ nose!
Mouth like a slit of red cloth
Jaia our daughter was born
In fate we now believed
Uma Ramji
Uma duma, our little daughter
Made her entrance into the world with
A righteous cry as loud as a raging storm
Restless little baby
Always seeking for mummy
Making herself comfortable
Just easily in the crook of my arms and
In no rush to let it go
Motivations lacking
Screen is still blank
Expectations slipping
After reading ‘The Talent Code’ by Daniel Coyle, I decided to write down the main points that I thought were relevant into 17 steps above. Now I’ve just got to get round to doing it and one day in the future, teaching this to my girls!
I found a list of questions that I had written down, obviously from somewhere but not sure from where now but I thought I would make this blog a series of questions and answers. So here goes:
1. What were you passionate about as a child?
I have no idea. I used to love reading and I would carry a book around everywhere. I would almost feel lost without a book in my hand or in my bag. It’s strange considering this that I didn’t go into a more literary field. I also loved organising and arranging things. What a random thing to like but I would organise my desk first before I would start any work. I also loved making things out of boxes, scrap paper, clay type thing. I like Maths too which is why I went into accounting. I loved solving problems and I was good at doing it.
2. If you didn’t have a job, how would you choose to fill those hours?
Reading and watching films and doing yoga and cooking and cleaning. Easy!!
3. What makes you forget about the world around you?
Reading a good novel and not watching the news. The news always has bad news and it freaks me out and makes me wonder why we live in this world. It feels like we are on a verge of a great apocalypse. Constantly. I think I would hate to be a newsreader.
4. What issues do you hold close to your heart?
Women’s rights and education especially for girls.
5. What kind of conversations do you have with your closest friends?
Talk about our kids, random jokes, keeping fit.
6. What is your bucket list?
Not sure what that is but for some reason it makes me think of a KFC bucket!
I just googled it. So it’s a list of things you want to do before you die. This isn’t a definitive list as it is the first time I’ve thought about a bucket list but for now, here it is:
1. Read all the goddamn books I keep buying before I die!
2. I’d love to do a 10k charity run for cancer as it has affected so many people I know. But actually run it and not walk it.
3. I’d love to experience a sun rise on a beautiful beach and also go stargazing.
4. Publish a book.
5. Go on a meditation retreat and/or a yoga retreat.
7. If you had a dream, could you make it happen?
I’d like to think I am but it keeps changing and I get side tracked with other things especially kids but that was part of my dream so I don’t know. I even got side tracked answering the question!
I’m not sure that by answering these questions, I’m going to find my life’s purpose but it’s interesting. While researching the bucket list, I found this quote:
Be the change you want to see in the world.   Mahatma Gandhi
This is a blog I posted on the website MotivatingMum UK about setting up in business.
So it’s mummy mentoring month and I want to give some advice based on what work I do. I am an accountant so the best sort of advice that I am disposed at giving is in doing your accounts and tax returns and complying with Companies House and the HMRC. Also, as I am starting off too, I’m in the best place to be giving advice on something I’ve only just started doing myself. So as an accountant, here are my top three tips:
1.Decide what type of business structure you want. There are three main types: sole trader, partnerships or limited companies.
There are pros and cons to all types. Sole traders and partnerships are generally good if you are just starting up and don’t plan to make much and are still unsure as to how your business is going to work out. These types of business have less admin costs and it’s only the tax compliance you need to worry about. A limited company is good if you have a long term plan and you know you are going to make a profit in the future. A limited company has more structure and in the long term there will be more tax benefits.
2.Once you’ve decided your business structure, you need to tell everyone. By this, I mean not just on Facebook, twitter and blogs and all your friends and family but you need to inform HMRC and Companies House.
If you are a sole trader or partnership, you need to let HMRC know that you will need a self-assessment tax return and that you will be paying class 2 tax as soon as you have registered. You will also need to take into account class 4 tax when you start making a profit.
If you are a limited company, you need to inform HMRC of self-assessment for yourself personally as a Director of the company and then for the company, you need to register for corporation tax, if you have a payroll, then payroll taxes and if you need or want to register for VAT. These are the main taxes for a company. You also need to register your company with Companies House.
3.Finally, you need to make sure you choose a good accountant. OK, so you’re thinking, here’s the sales pitch, surely I’m breaking the rules, but hear me out first. To start off with, especially if you are a sole trader, you may be able to do a lot of things by yourself, as there is a lot of information on the internet and to be honest, even the HMRC website and helpline is getting a lot better.
However, there will come a time when you either don’t have the time to do all the tax and accounts or it just starts getting a little complicated or you hear something at the school gate and wonder if it applies to you and wish you had someone with a little more knowledge to talk to, and that’s where accountants step in.
My advice when choosing an accountant is don’t always go for the cheapest one on the block, I’m sure the charges will pile up. As with everything, make sure you get on with them and can build up a good rapport and also see if they are honest with you and let you know where there limitations are and how they will deal with it.
For more information on this or for help with your tax returns, get in touch with Q.A. Accountancy Services.
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you.
I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me.
And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can’t, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her – as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times – only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how she adores you – as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realise that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.
And although I realise that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.
I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
An accountant and a Mum 