Still none the wiser

I’m still none the wiser as to what I am doing with my life.  I’ve written about it in this post on Accountingweb which you can read here: confusion-and-plans

However, since writing this post, I was driving down from my mum’s house at around 7pm. Usually, I can take it or leave it when it comes to driving however, this time I really did enjoy the drive.  The girls had both fallen asleep, (one of the main reason for driving home at around 7pm) and the sky was turning from bright yellow sunlight and wishing I had sunglasses on, to a red sky with orange streaks, to a dusky blue with strains of the leftover orange .  It was so beautiful especially with my favourite Bollywood songs softly playing in the background (another ploy to get the girls to fall asleep). Continue reading “Still none the wiser”

Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford

This book is amazing and Rachel has a way of writing which is very emotional and very raw.   Hands Free basically starts with turning off your gadgets so you can spend more time with your children and partner.  However, it goes into more depth and just turning off your mobile phone is not enough, you need to connect and be present for your kids. Continue reading “Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford”

Summer Holidays!

This is the first summer holidays where both girls are at home with me.  The younger one is only off because she is changing nurseries so I thought it would be nice for them to both be off and at home together.  Not sure what I was thinking and I’m only half way through.  Well the good points of being at home are: Continue reading “Summer Holidays!”

My top 10 parenting tips – gleaned from parenting manuals and courses

From the number of books and online courses that I’ve read, I feel like I should be a parenting guru myself in theory. In practice, it is a so much more harder and I’m not even sure why.  From the books that I have read and which I will review at a later date, some of the things that I’ve noted include:

1.       Don’t spend all your time talking to them from behind a computer or a mobile phone – have tech free time.

2.       Show unconditional love to your children

3.       Spend time with them and make your family a priority, not an afterthought or once I’ve finished everything I will spend time with them.

4.       Talk to them with the respect and love that you do have for them in other words, don’t take out your days anger on them

5.       Spend time connecting with them

6.       Let them help you with things even if it takes longer for you to get things done

7.       Have a daily family time with your kids and partner

8.       Make time for them, not just taking them from one place to another or making them do their homework but actually talk or do fun things with them.

9.       Make a gratitude list, not a to do list.

10.   Simplify your life.

So far I have read the following books, courses, facebook and blog posts on parenting:

Hands Free Mama – Rachel Macy Stafford (Book, Website, blog)

Great Parenting Show – Jacqueline Green (website and free courses)

The Price of Privilege – Madeline Levine  (I’m still reading this book)

Positive Parenting – toddlers and beyond (Facebook Posts)

Attachment Parenting UK – (Facebook posts)

Constance Hall – (Facebook posts and blog)

 There are also lots of parents that have funny posts and that makes you feel that you are not alone at being a bad parent but these listed above are some of the ones that make you want to be a better mum and a better person in general.  Like I said, in principle it’s great but in reality, it can be a bit hard and dull and seemingly old fashioned to devote your life to your family.  However, when I did take on more work it was stressful to another level so I’m scared to change my work situation too much.  At certain times, when they are young or ill they do need more of your attention and then work and other parts of life get in your way but when they are happy in general and can easily get along then simplifying your life seems to be boring and the need to have and want more kicks in.  But my girls are still young and I don’t like shouting at them, so I do want to make some changes even if I can’t make all of them, even if it means getting bored with what I have for a while.  I’m sure it won’t last forever and I when I look back in nostalgia, it will hopefully be lots of good memories, I will remember.

New house, new school, new start!  I want to keep up the positivity.

Show Unconditional 

 

 

The perfect child

When you become a parent, you find there is so much literature about parenting and none of them seem to agree. Plus there’s always new research going on and so articles are always coming out on how to be a good parent. Recently, a Harvard report stated that mums who went out to work had daughters who achieved better at work. So it’s a good thing to go out to work. But I work from home, so it’s that the same thing? I want to be closer to my daughters especially when you hear news of grooming, kidnapping etc I think if nothing else I want to be able to physically protect them as much as I can. The next article that came out was in the guardian about how women shouldn’t rush back to work and stay at home to look after the kids. In principle that sounds good but not everyone can afford to do this and even this makes me feel guilty. Although, I’m at home, in not always playing with them or looking after them because I’m working. Ever since I started reading about parenting, there’s apparently been this big debate about attachment parenting versus putting them in a routine. With my oldest daughter it was more routined with my youngest it became more of an attachment parenting more due to circumstances rather than anything else. They’re both different but I feel guilty about the way I treated them when they were both young. Every time they misbehave I wonder if I’ve done something to damage them which is why they are acting the way they are. Then I think back to my parents and grandparents and think that somehow we’ve all come through childhood, maybe slightly damaged but somehow we’re ok. I might not have everything or be able to do everything we want but generally things are pretty good. Just need to stop worrying so much.

“Our children are only ever lent to us. We never know just how long we will be able to keep them for. So kiss them, cuddle them, praise them and hold them tightly. But most of all… tell them you love them everyday. ” – Carly Marie