Still none the wiser

I’m still none the wiser as to what I am doing with my life.  I’ve written about it in this post on Accountingweb which you can read here: confusion-and-plans

However, since writing this post, I was driving down from my mum’s house at around 7pm. Usually, I can take it or leave it when it comes to driving however, this time I really did enjoy the drive.  The girls had both fallen asleep, (one of the main reason for driving home at around 7pm) and the sky was turning from bright yellow sunlight and wishing I had sunglasses on, to a red sky with orange streaks, to a dusky blue with strains of the leftover orange .  It was so beautiful especially with my favourite Bollywood songs softly playing in the background (another ploy to get the girls to fall asleep). Continue reading “Still none the wiser”

My Next Move

Since my oldest daughter’s school is now sorted, I’ve been feeling like I need to do more work or more something with my life. Even though I like the idea of being a kept woman of sorts, it’s not all that glamorous and it can get a bit boring. There’s only so much cleaning and cooking you can do without going doolalee.

Continue reading “My Next Move”

What do I want?

There’s a lot happening at the moment and I don’t know exactly what it is that I want. I think I would like a permanent job but even that doesn’t guarantee a lifetime of work and stability. I think I want my eldest daughter to go to a regular school and then you hear of horror stories and so I change my mind and I want her to stay at the private school which we can’t really afford.

There’s so many online businesses and courses going around that I want to do but I’m not sure why and what’s the point. For now I’m going to stick to my accounting, blogging and yoga and looking after my girls. Cooking, beauty, crafts, reiki etc. can wait.  The online money making schemes which seem to take your money first without even guaranteeing you’ll get any money back in return seems to good to be true.  Then there’s the ultimate blog which keeps telling you to slow down and enjoy life. How can you fit everything in and still be happy, healthy and  rich? I guess ultimately, that is what everyone wants, to be happy, healthy and rich.

Happy and rich don’t always go together. It’s almost seen as a ultimatum, you can be happy but not rich or rich but not happy. If you’re rich enough to be comfortable and not make any sacrifices then surely that is a good thing and you are happy? I think for now I need to start focussing a little bit on what I want and need to do to put my family first including their health and happiness. As much as I don’t like cooking, I’m going to attempt to be healthy, be active and stop slobbing in front of the TV for my girls or computer for me.
I also need to get into some sort of routine for holidays where I can do some work but also spend time with them and even going places.
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I’m never satisfied

When I have some work, I want more work.  When I have the more work I wanted, I can’t cope and don’t want so much work.  I really don’t know what I want. I don’t know whether I want a lifestyle or a career but I don’t feel like I am doing very well with either.  I don’t have the dedication to be a career driven person at the moment but I don’t want to just work to get by.  I would like to have the lifestyle of the perfect work life balance but at the moment we don’t really earn enough money to be able to do that.  Plus when I think about it, I’ve worked so hard to get here and now I do nothing substantial? Other times I think, when will I stop to take a break and enjoy my life.  Still other times, I think I’m too young to want to slow down but I can’t keep with the amount of stress involved with working so much as well as doing everything else. Continue reading “I’m never satisfied”