I was reading a blog (link below) about why mothers should stick together regardless of whether they work or not without feeling righteous about their decision and there have been lots of times when I have doubted my decision and wondered why I am doing what I am. Articles in the news and different press in general don’t help. There are some mums that go back to work within weeks, some that have to work, some that want to work, some that want to stay at home and quite a lot who do a little in-between.
I started thinking about why I gave up my job and why I think the way I do.
Firstly, my mum has a small company and I know how hard it is for small companies (including where I was working) when people are absent. After my maternity leave was over, I decided to leave. Partly I knew that I wanted to try for another baby as soon as possible. I felt its not fair on the company to take so much time off and since it took me so long to get pregnant in the first place, I knew I didn’t want to deal with working in a stressful environment. I’m not saying it would have happened, but I know just before I was about to go on maternity leave, I got piled with work. I didn’t complain because I didn’t want to use being pregnant as an excuse but the person who took over did complain about the amount of work he was given.
Secondly, maybe I was getting bored of what I was doing and I couldn’t see a way out of it, especially returning to work after maternity. I (did) have a lot of tax experience. I think I still have the old tax experience but things have changed so much that I wouldn’t feel so confident in dealing with new things. I wanted to move into tax and I started getting offers for tax jobs but decided (?) I didn’t want to take them while I was pregnant. Now I feel in a bit of limbo, not sure where my career is heading.
Thirdly, I did try to justify that if I want a child then I should have to give up everything to do my best for the child. Unlike parents who leave their children with babysitters and nursery. Maybe this was my way of justifying taking time out of work and not going back to full time work. Or maybe because I wanted a baby so much that I wanted to (rather than should) spend a lot of time with her. Although, this does bring its own set of big responsibilities especially when your child misbehaves.
I don’t know but everyone’s circumstances are different and I just need to know that I am doing right for myself and for my family. I am lucky that I don’t need to work except for myself and I have work that I can do from home. There are days though when I find myself defending my decisions.